Oops it has been a hot minute since my last post - a full six months. Life has been pretty busy with dental school that I just felt overwhelmed at times to do anything else but study and do the necessities to be a functioning adult. I truly wish to do this more often than one time a term to keep thoughts fresh, but life is how it is. In this post I wish to describe how my first term went (good and bad), life updates, and what I look forward to in the future.

Snapshot

We as a school have been doing these small group discussions called Reflect where we can discuss feelings and share how things are going. Society simply doesn't prioritize discussions of mental health, and this was a good idea in theory. Discussions often geared towards exams and stress which could be pessimistic at times. One change we ended up doing, which I suggested from my old frisbee days was Rose, Bud, Thorn. In brief, you suggest one rose (something that went well), one bud (something you want to happen or are looking forward to), and a thorn (something that did not go so well). Here are my three for the semester, which I will go into in the post.

Rose: Adjusting to Philadelphia and meeting friends

Bud: Consistent guitar time & summer plans

Thorn: Free time and exploration

A lot of what I write below should have been its own blog post buttttt it will be nice to have everything in one place.

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Transition to Philadelphia

Move-In Week

I ended up moving in a a week or two before classes officially started. My dad, younger sister, and I drove from Minnesota to Philadelphia on Saturday, July 31 and ended up arriving the following morning at 6 am. Definitely would not recommend the 18 hour drive - we ended up pushing through the night by rotating drivers. Well we did take an hour and a half stop to rest at a gas station but none of us could sleep with the bright lights. Suffice to say we were zombies by the next morning.

By the time we arrived on the first of August, I went up to the apartment... it took a while as I could not read and enter the correct apartment key code. As I opened the door, a whiff immediately hit my nostrils. The smell of fresh paint. I clearly was not alone as there were four painters sprawled out across the hallway with painting tarps laid out on the floor. Confused as we were promised the apartment would be ready by today for months, I asked one of them when it would be complete. Around noon was the response. The door closed behind me as I went to contemplate what to do in the meantime. We eventually drove around and went grocery shopping at the Vietnamese town to pass the time.

When we came back around 11 am the painters were gone and we began to do a bit of move-in. My roommate arrived from his Uber and we formally met after a few hours of FaceTime and phone calls. He didn't end up staying the night as there was slight concern about fresh paint and toxicity, so the three of us bunkered down. Also the paint was the beginning of problems with the apartment. The shower curtains kept falling down, the toilet water was pink, a bunch of glass and dirt was in my room, the closet was not attached, list goes on. These were resolved eventually and in the grand scheme of things was not a big issue.

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The whole week was a blur as it was mostly getting acclimated to the new place, setting things up, and purchasing furniture and other living necessities. Luckily, we drove with the rental minivan making Facebook marketplace hunts a lot easier. We agreed to split furniture by cost with each of us owning certain things in the apartment. My side was a nice velvet blue reversible L-seated couch.

I honestly, did not get to explore the city much that week as it was my dad driving around the busier and narrower roads. We ended up checking out some touristy places like the Liberty Bell, rating some Philadelphia Cheesesteaks, and making a day trip to NYC. All of these were firsts and on that trip to NY I ended up walking a record 30K steps.

A couple friends from Carleton ended up visiting midway through the week as one of them lived out in NJ. We went out to dinner at a local Thai restaurant by Baltimore Ave. It was good to see familiar faces in a new location.

My family did end up leaving that Friday to make it back home by the end of the weekend. I was sad to see them go, but knew I had to start doing things on my own. Overall, my general thoughts in my head was that I barely had talked to my roommate for whatever reason, making me feel self-conscious that I was not being a good roommate or not being outgoing enough. My new room was so much cleaner than the house we live at home and was a welcome change of pace. I am sure I let out a big sigh by the end of Friday - time to buckle up.

P.S. There was a period of time throughout the term where I had bought 3 different bikes. There were FOUR bikes in our apartment if you included my roommates... I only have one now so no judgement please.

From Midwest to East Coast

Ahh yes. What a lot of friends from Carleton or back home ask me. Simply, you need to be more aware and alert in Philadelphia. Because it is in one of the biggest cities in America, it was a drastic, drastic change of pace than tiny Northfield with a population of 20,000 (where 5,000 of those were students). The best way for me to do this is a pros and cons list.

PROS:

1. Convenience -
   
   So I quickly found that by living in a big city, you also get all of its perks. This includes having things to do, being by other big cities, and having different pockets of ethnic communities. There are a ton of restaurants. Even by my place in University city there is a nice restaurant a ten second walk from me, a Pho restaurant nearby, and much more. By being on the east coast I still have the possibility to visit other places like broader NY, Boston, and DC with a bus ticket. Not only that but having a China town that is a subway bus away is amazing. Quite a change of pace from Northfield.
   
   
2. Accessibility
   
   Within the city there is SEPTA which runs the local subway and busses. I got a taste of public transportation this summer when I visited Chicago and Atlanta. Here in Minnesota, you would need to walk 3 miles to get to the closest station; maybe it's a suburb thing. Having the SEPTA has been a life saver for exploring Philadelphia east of the Schuylkill river. Not only that, but nearly everything can be found within the city - sport complexes, farmers markets, entertainment, concerts, etc. I will say the department stores are lacking in what they have in stock but a minor complaint.
   
   
3. Weather
   
   Holy cow. I knew coming to dental school anywhere outside of Minnesota would be a step up, but living by the ocean has been great weather wise. It certainly is no San Diego or Fort Lauderdale, but so far I have not seen a single snowflake. The minute I stepped off the plane on Minnesotan soil, I realized why people spend the winter in Arizona. A blistering, bone chilling type of cold. As long as the weather at school remains above freezing, biking around will be an option. The weather alone has opened up my eyes and made me reconsider where I would want to live one day.

CONS:

1. Safety
   
   I have had a sheltered life in the suburbs. Since moving, I have been approached many times by individuals asking for money. Some stories or reasons are more elaborate than others, but at the end of the day it was sad to see. The SEPTA subways are always an adventure with some people doing things you would not expect to do at 5 in the afternoon. There have been too many shootings or armed robberies to count within five blocks of the dental school. People drive recklessly to the point where I was afraid to ride my bike.
   
   
2. Cleanliness
   
   Minneapolis looks pristine compared to West Philadelphia. Along the roads, bike lanes, and sidewalks you need to be careful. Broken glass, trash, car wreckage, unswept leaves, the list goes on. It more so brings uneasiness and discomfort than a true con to the city.
   
   
3. Cost of Living
   
   Why does a gallon of milk cost $3.99 at Aldi's? I miss the good ol' days where it was $1.99 or $2.49. I graciously don't own a car as the gas prices even at Costco eclipse what you can find in the Midwest. What I pay for rent would get me a real nice place back home ... probably would get an extra bedroom for free. Not a big deal as it is what you get when you live in a larger city, but it makes the wallet tear up.
   

Finding Friends

This probably has been my biggest challenge since grade school. It is difficult to explain but it just doesn't come natural to me as it does for most people. If I had to chalk it up to something it would be a mix of timidness, introversion, and lack of conversation skills/confidence. One of my biggest reasons for choosing Penn was the people. During the interview process, I had a gut feeling that the people I would meet in my class and in others would be the closest to what I was looking for. So far, I believe this has held true.

Before school started we had a series of orientation events at and outside of the school to build class cohesion and start to get to know one another. I vividly remember having similar conversations with multiple students - "Where are you from", "where did you go to school", "did you take a gap year", "where do you live". Sigh, really should have brought business cards with that information on it. The problem was what to say after those questions. It should not have been that bad since we had infinite of stories to tell as we were all strangers. Maybe this is why I have problems meeting new people.

As school began, I don't think I really talked to anyone extensively outside of my roommate. I did end up going to social events freely, which is something I would never have done at the start of undergrad. I decided to try something new. The goal was to sit with new students at lunch or class and meet new faces. Looking back at this moment, I definitely am glad I did this, as even though I did not become friends with everyone, I know I could strike up a conversation with my classmates casually.

I did end up meeting a nice group of friends on a whim. I was invited to tag along one Friday night by my roommate to explore the city with a group of students. We ended up going to an outdoor bar and karaoke that night. I had met many of them during orientation but did not talk much then. It was a very relaxing part of the term, and a good way to meet new faces. We eventually went on a trip to NY which is where I got to know a lot of them better - the start of new friendships.

As a reflection - I would not really change how I got to meet people at Penn. Life works in funny ways and sometimes you just have to ride it out. I definitely feel at a better place than undergrad; I know there are people in my life at school that I could talk to if something came up.

As I get older I find myself contemplating more and more - friendship is one of those complex concepts that I am still figuring out.

Dental School Rigor

General Schedule

Hmmm, so what people were saying on forums were indeed true. Dental school IS like drinking from a hose. There IS very little you can do to prepare for it. But at the end of the day you WILL become a dentist. The dental school schedule hits different. Long gone are the days of MWF classes and T/Th labs. Looking back at it I had so much more time in undergrad. Classes are two hour blocks and can go from 8-12 and 1-5. Luckily, most days aren't the full 8 hour block, I would say the average is three classes. Every week there's 4 hours worth of lab in the morning and every other there is dental assisting also for 4 hours.

The sad truth is that you do need to study afterwards, and that takes at least 2 hours after classes. This meant that with cooking/eating, I would at the earliest find myself done with studying around 8PM. Days definitely began to feel robotic with a sleep, class, study, sleep rhythm to it.

I don't think there's much else one could do but be mentally prepared and cognizant of your health. Definitely important to enjoy the small moments and document them.

Study Habits

To tag off what I have above I definitely have been experimenting throughout the term with what works. At the beginning of the term I started off studying in my room with my desktop. It was working at first and I ended up purchasing a second monitor, one to pull up notes and the other for a web browser or Anki. An efficient process for sure, but I ended up using it less and less as the term went on. Not sure why, but it began to feel more like a study prison which I did not want my room to be associated with.

As for how to study, from the beginning I adopted an app called Anki. I had not used Anki prior to dental school, but have heard of it from others saying it was a spaced repetition notecard app. A couple of classmates had experimented with it in the past and reached out to the class to see who would be interested. New school, new city, so I thought why not? Let's just say even after finally getting the hang of it, making the cards and attempting to encapsulate all the details we needed to know for exams was a hassle. It would take on average an hour per lecture. That's precious study time in a day.

Luckily, a group of students began to adopt it as well and now the work is split relatively evenly, making it a weekly task rather than a daily one. Challenges still exist, the main one being varying types of cards and details other students try to capture. In the end, the load off everyone's back through this group effort is more than worth the slight hiccup.

Overall, my review of Anki is relatively positive. It takes the amount of thinking while studying and reduces it greatly as it in theory is an active study tool forcing you to recall like you would on an exam. Anki is time consuming, with the cards feeling like a chore at times though. Near the end of the term, with exams becoming closer and closer together, Anki could not be used as often, and I believe there was some difficulty on exams because of this change.

The other study method I like to use is to look at slides and force myself to recite what is on the slide and explain it out loud. A hardship with this is how easy it is to think you know what are on the slides and move on. And to think that the small details won't be on the exam when they secretly can be. This is a nice method as you can also study in small groups which have kept me sane from the monotonous grind of Anki.

One thing I did learn early on was that I could not do what I had done in college. Long gone are the days of taking notes, rewriting them, and rereading them. There was frankly too much material to write out in this case, and by the time I was done writing I would be out of energy for the day...

I am always looking to be more efficient while finding success so we will see what next term brings!

Exams

Exams were alright for the most part. I welcomed the multiple choice format - no longer had to synthesize organic reactions and figure out strange biological concepts in a time crunch. As the exams were two hours long, I often had more than enough time to go through my answers twice or even three times. In addition to multiple choice, the exams were taken on the iPad making the process a whole lot more streamlined.

Having exams spaced out between two-four weeks was nice as it allowed you to take a "breather" right after exams. It also served as a good time to travel outside Philly. I don't think I would like mini quizzes every weekend even if it was lower stakes as it would just induce constant pressure.

Lab Work

In brief, lab was hard off the bat. I enjoy fine detail, but guess it did not translate right away, and still has not. Wax-ups, the despised rubber dam, and preps have been a challenge. Especially with me looking only out of one eye with the loupes. For once in my life though, I am finally doing tasks that are directly associated with my career. I know it will be a while till I get to where I wish to be, but it is all part of the journey.

Life Updates

On My Own

Ahh finally on my own. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Living in dorms and the townhouse at Carleton was a stepping stone, but being so close to family allowed an easy outlet to come home periodically. Now in Philadelphia, that was not as simple. For the first time, I was a thousand plus miles from my brothers, sisters, parents, and friends. Every thing was new. The culture. The people. The feeling of comfort and familiarity.

Within the first two weeks I got a pang of homesickness. I missed all the resources that surrounded me in Minnesota. I know it doesn't sound good but I was quickly over it as school dominated my available thoughts. We are creatures of habit and I am no exception. As I have had the time to think on it, however, I believe it was overall in benefit. Moving has forced me to better understand who I am, what is important, and what I had taken for granted. It also allowed me to turn a new leaf, leave my shortcomings behind in Minnesota and improve what I stand for and how I carry it out. I know a lot of this is in general, broad statements but it is the most accurate way to describe how I feel.

Away from home, away from parents. With no one really telling me what to do, it's kind of intriguing to see what I do with my time outside class. Just like right now. 4PM on a Sunday afternoon. How did I get to this point where I'm typing endlessly? Needless to say, one hobby I have picked up starting from last year has been cooking more. Cooking brings in a healthy kind of stress where you always challenged to improve. Can you recreate that dish you enjoyed at the restaurant? What are the different types of cuisine?

Wow writing really makes you reflective. I still have a lot of time here, so we will see what happens next.

Secretary Ta

I guess I am a secretary now. It was not in the cards when I entered dental school. Throughout my schooling years, I never once thought I would run for a position in government or something similar. Most of the elections would be a popularity contest and as a turtle-turned-human, I would be lucky if someone recognized my name on the ballot. But I got an email inviting the class to run for positions and I thought to myself, "is this the year?" As I scanned my eyes down the list of positions one description stuck out to me. Secretary. I knew I couldn't run for president or vice-president; it simply didn't fit my personality. But secretary would allow me to use my strengths of focus and hard-work to benefit the class.

Two weeks later, I was officially on the ballot. The scariest part though was the two minute speech. "Maybe I should have ran for curriculum committee", I thought to myself. More nervous for this than the first quiz, I brainstormed for a while on what to say. What would I want to say to 149 other students who I have barely just met? Why does this position have the most number of candidates? In the end, I decided to give a speech that highlighted who I was personally, and to share what I envisioned for the class. That was the only thing that mattered; the essence of why the class needed a secretary. It was an unorthodox speech for sure, but I don't like to conform anyways. Life isn't about cookie cutters, it is finding your own shape and being happy with it. Just for my future self, the speech involved pulling out a handful of cables and chargers.

The position required a candidate to capture the majority, which I thought was nearly impossible with four candidates. Right before a Halloween gathering, I got a text from a friend saying congrats. My eyeballs were transfixed on the message bubble - wow. It actually happened.

Since then, it has been a lot of Sundays creating newsletters, looking at emails, making things all pretty and readable. I always wonder if people look at them, but I have now accepted that if I help even one classmate, I have made someone's life easier. It also has doubled in making me aware of what the week looks like school and event wise. In addition to running Zoom calls, I have enjoyed my time as a secretary. I will have to run for reelection later this spring, maybe there will be a coup...

Loops, Luups, Loupes

You know, I don't know I get into some hobbies and things sometimes. Before the school even mentioned it I was researching loupes, the special microscopes for dentists. To me, THIS was the piece of dental equipment that shouted dentist. I was looking at the different types of lenses, magnification, styles. Totally geeking out on all the fancy terms. There was one that sounded cool, refractory lenses that allowed you to have your neck in a more comfortable position. However, the school didn't end up bringing them in as a vendor.

Uhhhhh so I became a temporary ambassador to bring the company to Philly. I didn't want to make my judgement just on this so I tried on each one of the other companies' offerings. In the end I like the ergonomic idea and ended up with them. One problem, is that it was not perfectly made for my eyes so I will need to send them back. But as one of my lab faculty says, they are nice submarine glasses. I can definitely see myself one day looking at things like handpieces and chairs for fun.

Future Goals

Phew that was a lot to type up, now what do I have in store for the next semester and beyond?

Free Time

One of my biggest challenges throughout the past semester was making time for myself. It was just so easy to think that next quiz or exam was the #1 priority and spend nearly all the waking hours thinking about or studying for it. If I am being honest with myself it sometimes bled into crucial sleep time. I don't know... finding the balance is hard. For so much of my life success has been measured off of scores and grades - a byproduct of the education system and familial pressure. In your head you have these ideals, but the next thing you know habits and innate lessons take over.

I will try to do better, which will come with time. Ideally I could spend the term still doing the things I enjoy: making time to catch up with friends, play guitar, be physically active, etc. Doing relaxing activities like watching an episode of TV was hard to do. It got bad near the end of the semester where I began to measure what I was doing in terms of 'how much study time did I lose'... Insert tears of despair

Exploration

In the same vein, I wish to explore more of Philly and the east coast. There's a lot to do and I don't want to reflect on my time here and only remember that I did okay on exams. Life is a lot more than that, and getting out of my comfort zone and seeing unique attractions, events, and talking to people will make these four years a memorable one.

Connections

It's easy for me to sit back and be passive. From my college time, there aren't any big regrets, just things I would have changed. To join more events, talk to professors, and be more willing to share who I am with friends. It doesn't happen overnight, so I will take it one day at a time.

Summer Plans

I initially was thinking about doing the research program the Penn offers, but since then I have thought about it and talked to friends and even my dentist. The resounding answer was this was one of my last extended breaks, you should enjoy it. And I do not believe research would fulfill that for me, so I'm now transitioning to new fun ideas. Just like I said about exploration, I want to look back and have highlights of good times. I'm currently thinking about traveling a bit, contingent on the status of COVID. Please, please, not three years in a row.

Destinations I'm looking into is Vancouver to see relatives and Asia (Japan, others) to finally see the international world. Another side project is to try to learn some Mandarin, and really dedicate my summer while I have the time. The HPSP and officer training may be a possibility, but it is looking like it won't align with the summer term schedule.

On that note a mini HPSP update is that while in school, there are nearly no military tasks to do, and I feel like any other student on campus. The only work I have to do with the military is the occasional email to send in a form and reimbursements if it applies to a purchase.

And I think that will be it for the fall term update. I don't want to know how many words this is. See you in a week, month, year?

P.S. Just received some news 1/2 6:30PM. Written as a stamp of memories.